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The Fall of the Apple

17 Jul

apples_on_apple_tree
“They” say that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, in essence, I am sure it is a true statement. We are all a piece of our parents, the blood, the looks sometimes, maybe even the way we talk or hold ourselves, and as we grow older, we remind ourselves of our parents more often than not. We are all different, and in time I find either we adopt our parent’s ways of life, or we veer off track hard. Given that different generations have their ups and downs, their beliefs, and what is popular changes. But I ask myself how close to being my mother I really am. And, how did I get there?

Now, my mother is the tree and I am the apple. This apple did not have a direct path down to fall off the tree. I have fallen through a numerous amount of shrubs before I hit the ground to make roots of my own. Being a single mother, my mom had some help from friends, family and different babysitters. I was very easily influenced as a child and even as a young adult….sometimes even now. I tend to take on other traits that I find endearing or respectable in others, this changes my path of thinking and introduces me to way more than I had imagined. My mother was/is a very strict parent. She had to. She worked 12 hour shifts, she put herself through college at 40, and bought a house on her own. She worked a lot when I was little, so much so, that I spent a good part of my early life at the babysitters house, which was great for both of us. Janie was/is a caring child care provider, with 3 children of her own, she took on foster children as well as taking on babysitting. These days I remember being a busy and curious little girl. Picking fresh beans in the garden and eating them, playing in the sandbox, legos and helping her in the kitchen, I would get to make my own pie with the left over dough she had, we even made home made ice cream! My mother was caring, not over affectionate though.mom I was always trying to find ways to get her to be near me. I would pretend to fall asleep on the couch so that she would have to carry me to bed. I loved this.

I learned hard work early on. I saw how often my mother worked, and I was expected to do things around the house as well. I learned to do the laundry when I was 8 and I also did the dishes and could make myself breakfast and such. I mowed the lawn and helped clean the house. There was no room for whining….mother did not take to that at all.

chores1Now that I am an adult, I can see the traits that I have carried on. Hard work and the expectation of my children to work hard as well. I want them to be children while they can, but it does not hurt my 7 year old to do the dishes regularly and clean the cat litter box. My 5 year old needs a little more work to get his little bum in gear still! In time! I admit, that I would not have a business of my own if I hadn’t been raised by my mother, She is definitely the strongest influence that I have to kick my own butt. Sometimes I am too hard on myself, which is where I am not like her at all, she is very hard on herself as well….probably moreso than I, but she does not take the time to relax and pamper herself. I don’t think that she has ever had a massage or a pedicure. Running the business means being under an intense amount of stress and constant worry. Being a mother already kicks these feelings into gear, never mind owning a business! Anyhow, I have been finding ways to relax and to find the initial reasons on my feelings. Being proactive is how I see it. Knowing the roots of my stress and how to handle it in the future is a useful tool, however, medical doctors are not in my routine. I am slowly backing off the medical industry all together. Like I said before, if I am cut in half, please take me to the hospital to be repaired, other than the physical injuries, I try to stay more natural. I see someone that does medical intuition, I have seen a homeopath and a holistic nutritionist. These all make me feel better. These all have natural ways to cure what is wrong, and they talk with me on how to deal with things in a natural way. Let my body tell me, get in touch with who I am and how I deal with things. Which is to say that your body reacts to everything. Emotions, feelings and diet have almost everything to do with the physical health of your body.

My mother, does not go this route at all! It has taken a lot for her to go to the doctor regularly. Her point of view for years was that if she was sick, she didn’t want to know about it. Just let it go. She now goes to the doctor. High blood pressure and a ton of stress, she smokes still as well. I know that she is not as healthy as she could be, I do not tell her this. She would change the subject or brush it off like she does so well. I am concerned of course. She has not really warmed up to my husband and I’s eating habits either. She still wants to feed my children bologna and chicken nuggets. My 5 year old does not quite understand our choices, which makes him a prime target for my parents to feed him whatever they want him to ingest. This scares me.

However, I do know that they will not harm my children, they will just not respect our wishes for eating habits. My ideals for the way that I live my life are completely different than what I was raised with and how to proceed through life day to day. I do not believe in eating animal products on a day to day basis.holistic I will never ingest a pig, cow, chicken, deer etc. ever again. On a daily basis, I will not intake milk or eggs on my own accord. I understand that going out is a little harder, and if there is butter in something, I am not going to die. I decide that holistic treatment for my body and mind is more of the route I would like to follow, and I am in touch with my feelings. I love. I love to love, hug and cuddle, touch….all of it. It feels good.Hugs are great. I do not get many from my mother, and I am not sure why.

I am not an apple that has fallen close to the tree. We may be joined by the same roots, but we are far from  being like each other. Maybe our humour and laugh, maybe how we talk and such, but beliefs are completely different. It makes me wonder how far my children will fall from me! As long as they are better for it, I am good with it and I will try to accept and encourage what they find important in their life.

How far did you fall?apple-love

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