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The Goofy Effect

13 Apr

I know it has been a while since you read about the lighter side of things in my life, and I think it’s about time, since I am starting the healing process. I like to be truthful to my kids to the point that they will understand certain things,  but I don’t tell them too much that will upset them or make them a paranoid adult. I am trying to raise understanding, compassionate, responsible, funny, smart and thoughtful adults. To do that, I don’t think that they should be left in the dark. Kids want to know. As a mother, I can let my kids know and I know how much is too much.

With that being said, I know my kids are super loving and compassionate. They need a little work sometimes on the responsible and thoughtful side of things, but they are still so young….there is time to work on that! I tell my kids probably about 5 or 6 times a day that I love them. They gets tons of hugs and kisses everyday and I let them know just how much I love the fact that they are my children. I tell them that they are so cute that I can’t stand it…. they say that they know! How do you know? I ask. Because you say it aaaaalllllll the time! Is the response I get! Ha Ha! Okay, I get it. I will pull it back a little for a little while. There is no way I can stop that though! Ha Ha!

I have never had any siblings, so it is pretty overwhelming for me to hear these two little guys have a love/hate relationship with each other on a daily basis! I don’t think that I have ever been around that so much in my life! Even when I was a kid, I had friends that had older siblings and I didn’t really get exposed to the hair pulling fights. I am in shock everyday! I want to pull my own hair out when they are constantly yelling at each other and then one boy makes the other one cry and then the one crying want retaliation and starts yelling and screaming at the other one and then there is door slamming and usually some tattling. The tattling got so bad that I just told them that I didn’t want to hear it and to deal with it on their own, upstairs, of course. I have no idea what to do most times! And, as long  as there is no real damage done, I am thinking that this might be normal!

It’s not like this everyday though. They are the best of friends and they love each other more than I could even imagine. It makes me long for that, that complete closeness with a sibling. The mutual understanding and love, being raised with the same parents in the same house and having the same familial dynamics (if that is a thing!).  Half the time, with my kids, I have no  idea what the heck they are saying! It’s like they have their own language! I love when they are getting along and laughing with each other. They do get pretty loud when they are having fun too! But this loudness I can handle. I never knew that a house could get so loud. I think about the people walking past our house and wonder what they are thinking about the thunderous sounds coming from inside! ha ha!

It’s funny, when we have children, we always compare them to ourselves, no matter who you are, you know that you can look at your child and think he/she looks like so and so, or they act like their father/mother, etc. I do it all the time. I wonder if kids ever  get sick of hearing these things or if it makes them feel good? In any case, I know that my kids have their own sense of humour! They find the oddest things funny. And they are odd! Watching them become more adult like and more human (for lack of a better word) is completely mind blowing. My oldest son cracks jokes like an adult. And he is really really funny! The faces he makes can have my husband laughing so hard that he has tears in his eyes! Morley is a performer for us! He does these crazy dances and sings and sometimes I shake my head and wonder where he is from! Did I ever act super weird like this? Im supposing that I did….but I don’t really remember it.

My youngest son Adam has more of a dry humour and has his comedic timing down to a science! He doesn’t even know how funny he is until Gord and I can’t contain our laughter! Dry humour, and random, he is very random. Like wanting to paint the house purple and wanting to eat a train!?

These little guys are full of energy and humour! There is never a dull moment in our house, or a quiet one for that matter…..unless they are asleep! But, my kids help me stay sane. They give me the love that I need so much, the hugs, kisses. Their neverending need to be around me. They actually like me! I like me when I am around them, most of the time. You know, those times that make you think you are going to pull your hair out because they won’t listen or talk back, or some sort of misbehaviour! I love being a mom. And I think they love being my kids! My family is very close, we are almost always together, even in the same room. They follow me around the house like puppies!

I am so grateful for them, they are goofy and wacky and loving and beautiful!

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Hitting Me Where it Hurts

29 Sep

So, I am beginning to fade fast from all of the workload that has fallen on me. I know I am the owner, the boss and the one who can do every job in the bakery, but it is starting to wear on me that I have to do all the jobs. I am training someone new, and she is going to work out perfectly, and I hope she stays on and loves working with Shanna and I. My staff becomes like family to me. I spend more time with my staff than I actually do with my own family….. maybe even amounts of time. But still, it’s alot of time with them. So, with training and teaching co-op students, and training 2 new staff members, doing all of the baking and a little more than half of the decorating, I am super beat.

So, when people ask me to do something, I want to say yes to everyone. I know that I can’t. I say maybe if I have time now.

Actually, I am not looking forward to sitting in my office to complete all of the book work that I haven’t been able to do for the last month. It is going to be painful! I will pull through! Ha Ha! There could be worse things!

So, as you know, my family and I are now vegan. We actually really love it! I am super excited because I am learning to cook delicious and healthy meals for my family. I pretty much LOVE to cook now. I have been making broth to use in cooking dishes and I am making soups and other dishes which we freeze so we can eat good meals in the winter when money is a little slim. I made a pot pie last night that I really loved. Even my kids ate their entire serving! Sometimes it is hard to get them to finish a meal, but since we are now vegan, it is especially important that they finish their meals. So, we made a couple of soups to freeze, and we were going to my parents house on the weekend, so we decided to bring along 2 different soups and some bread that my hubby had made. When it came to lunch time, my dad refused to eat with us. He was angry and started yelling at us, saying that we are shoving our eating habits down his throat. I took great offence to this, since we had brought cauliflower soup….. there is nothing terrible about that. Even people who eat meat, eat soup. So, he made it quite clear that he did not accept the way we eat and said that we force it on him. Now, I don’t want my children to think that there is anything wrong with our choice of diet. It is just food. That is it. Why is it such a big deal? Does my dad eat potatoes and vegetables? Yes. Does he eat soup? Yes. Does he eat fruit? Yes.  There is nothing that we do that is offensive or mean. We eat healthy, it is our choice to eat how we do and we do not force anyone else to eat that way either. I do not go to them and start yelling because they want to feed us chicken nuggets. Which my mother is willing to feed my youngest son. We told them both that we do not eat meat. What is wrong with that? What is so hard with feeding a vegetarian or vegan? Not every dish has meat.

Anyways, I left my parents house is disgust and anger. My children heard me defending our eating habits. I am fine with this. I don’t want them thinking that people can shove their ideals on to them. I want them to know that it is okay to be different, no matter who says something. My 7 year old understands all of this, but my 5 year old does not, and he is an easy target to change his mind. When he is old enough he can make a decision, but we will make sure that it is educated. I was very hurt by my parents and I cannot believe that they are letting a thing like food get in the way of family. I am disgusted and hurt and disappointed. I never thought they would turn on me like this.I am my mother’s only child, and my step-father is acting child-like. I think that his constant negativity is rubbing off on her. Which surprises me immensely. My mother is a strong person, but she is being worn down.

I wrote her a letter so she can read my thoughts. I find writing letters much better than talking. I get a chance to say my piece, and not be interrupted or screamed at.

We shall see. Until then, I feel broken inside and I am glad I have my husband and children. They are my strength and if I need a hug, they are right there. I will never turn on my children. Especially over something so silly.

This is where it hurts. If someone puts my family down. Our choices and our way of life. Someone telling my children the way they are being raised is wrong….I will fight. I will protect my own, whether or not we are being attacked by our own. Family is everything to me. All family. It does not matter to me how they eat, or choose to live. I love them all for who they are. What they do does not always define who they are.

I just want peace.

Why is this hard? Why is everyone a critic?