Uh! Oh…C D

12 Nov

Now that I have closed the bakery, I am on to selling all of the contents. I have posted everything on Varage, and it is awesome!!!! I love it! It is a lot of work though. I have to trek everything home, separate it, wash it, take photos, price, post, sell, and then post the changes if things were sold. It is not the website that tires me, it is the entire process from start to finish. I have to stay on top of things every moment. I still get messages at 10 pm! I am okay with all of that, its tiring, but it is so worth it. I find it a great way to sell things!

Okay, that is not what the subject is today, but I had to throw it in there! So, now, for the nitty gritty! Ha Ha!

Back when I was a single foxy lady, I was a neat freak. I loved my apartment and I had a lot of pride in its up keep and appearance. I would vacuum everyday and make sure that I never left the house with any more than a dirty glass in my sink. When I had kids, that went out the window. Actually, with my first son, I was pretty steadfast with cleaning. The floor was my biggest concern, having a crawling baby around! But, I started making cakes for money and then I had another child, and then I opened the bakery….housework was not at the top of the list. Every day it bothered me and stressed me out, hoping that people just didn’t stop by in case they wanted to come in and visit….in this horrendous mess. Every time someone did come over, I was looking around the house, just hoping they didn’t notice the clump of dog hair under the table, or the carpet under the kitchen counter with all sorts of crap on it. Or, the clutter of kids crap everywhere….everywhere…..no, really, E V E R Y W H E R E!!!! I had no idea they had so much stuff. Ugh.

Now that I am home…I see everything and I want to get rid of all the dirt, while I am organizing, I want to get rid of everything that is not right. All of my towels have to be folded the same way, and it is even so bad, that I wish I could organize the towels by colour, but I didn’t for the simple fact that I know they will never ever stay the way I want them and I would just be punishing myself if I really thought that could happen! I already caught myself organizing the kids clothes by colour and size. My sons closets, I hang up the short sleeved shirts…by colour, and then the long sleeved shirts, then the sweaters and sweatshirts and then the dress clothes. I was really aware of the re appearance of my OCD when I started hanging up the kids clothes like that….ugh. I have a problem.

I re organized our kitchen and I still am not done, but it is super organized according to our cooking needs. Pots and pans are easily accessible and near the stove and the food, is in the pantry. The dishes are now in a spot where the kids can reach them and I don’t have to get every single plate at all times for them. I still look every day at the floor and think, ” how in the…..??? who the??? what???? seriously!!!

I have a lot of things to keep me busy at home, I know that I should get a job to help with the bills, but I really want to stay at home and work on the house and take care of my family. I want to be here every morning to make breakfast for my boys and then get their clothes ready, put away the laundry and make beds. I want to do the breakfast and dinner dishes and do research for different recipes, and different ways to save money by making your own things. I want to be accessible for my kids and husband. I want, I want, I want. I know….sounds pretty selfish. I wonder what my children would want. I wonder what my husband would want. I know what my mother wants. I know what my bank wants. But they don’t live my life. They aren’t creating memories for my children. They aren’t rounding the lives of my kids for the rest of their lives. What is best?

Right now, what is best, is a well organized pot and pan cupboard, a perfectly folded towel shelf and a spotless shoe cubby and coat rack. Ha ha!

I have to work with this. I need to know when to say enough and I need to know when its okay to do as I feel. As far as being employed….I am so unsure its crazy. I should just offer my services as a cake decorator and offer in home classes on decorating. What do you think?

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