2 Oct

It has been a very long week for me!  The drug withdrawal is a big deal! My body does not want to work properly right now at all.  Not only am I having some very bad flu like symptoms,  like aching muscles and nausea,  but I have been feeling dizzy and not on control of myself.  I have done this to myself.  I know.  I still don’t regret it.  Anything is better than depression.  Yes…. Anything. I would rather have my body go through all of this beating than to feel nothing and have no hope.

The last two days have been the absolute worst.  Vomiting,  fever shakes, headaches, etc.  Today I am very woozy.  So much so that I am not even sure that I will be leaving the house.  I guess I will just have to take it easy.  I’m so heartbroken!  Ha ha! C’est la vie!

If my kids will co-operate with me and behave,  then all will be well.  I’m pushing my luck I think!  It’s like having tomorrow be a really important day so you go to bed early to be well rested and you end up not being able to sleep until 3 am.  That’s exactly how it is when you don’t feel well around your children.  They seem to behave badly or decide that they will sing all of their sentences on that exact day.

I wonder how much longer these feelings will last.  I am starting to feel motivated now.  When I do feel well,  I want to start taking walks and actually go back to the gym!  That’s a big thing ….I haven’t been feeling any sort of motivation since I started the anti depressants.  I am very excited to start living again! I think my kids will be happy with it as well.

The sooner i feel better, the sooner i cant get on with the rest of my life, the healthier and happier i will be!!! I can’t wait!


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