Day Number Three

26 Sep

Today is day number three. Three of what? you say? Day number three of being off those day-3damned Cipralex pills. They should come with a personal warning, saying that “this is the pill that every doctor will try to put you on first. This pill tosses your emotions around like a rag doll and turn your anxiety into a downward spiral of depression in a matter of months.” I had more issues than that on this medication and the last month was the worse. My body and mind just did not do well on this pill. When I started feeling worse, I told my doctor and he just upped the dosage. This caused the effect on my body.

I decided, after not being able to enjoy a family celebration, that I would stop taking this “medication” cold turkey. Now I know there are some adverse effects that can happen when cutting them out all together, but I thought I would risk it. ANYTHING is better than feeling this way ALL the time. I would rather feel depressed off and on, then feel it every day all day and not even be able to walk out my front door. To be ashamed of myself every day and not want to see anyone. Not the life for me. I am a fun and outgoing, boisterous person who would do anything for anyone…..depression does not fit into this person very well at all. I’m gonna kick its ass this time. I am so done and over with the shitty feelings. I am done and over listening to a doctor who spends two minutes with me and decides what medication I should be on. I am going to do what feels right.happy-pills

Right now, I feel better. I am happy. I was being goofy and playful with my son this morning before he went to school. I wasn’t trying to be happy and fun, it just happened. This felt great! I am seeing a bit of the person that I used to be……I cant wait to meet her again!  I know this perfect feeling wont last during every day, and I’m okay with that. As long as I get it some of the time.

Things are starting to look up for me right now, and my husband is on board. He is telling me what vitamins to take and what foods to eat so I can correct the chemical imbalance that I have. He is supporting my decision, and so is my mother. We were both on a medication that made us feel not so great, and we both decided to stop taking it. I don’t advocate to anyone to stop their medication, I am just saying that I did it. Its the third time that I have tried and the first time that it was a success…..so far!

I hope it lasts. But I would think that after three days, most of it is out of my system. But I am no doctor…..*ugh*

I will keep up on the blog and letting you know how everything is going. I hope I see a weight loss….not only with my body, but on my shoulders as well!! And, I am hoping to start seeing the bright side of things more often now. Depression is an ugly beast and I hate battling with it everyday. I hope I wont have to fight so much now.

I will get my sleep, I will take the vitamins my hubs wants me to take, and I will feel better.

Oh….I will. try

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