Poor Baby Puppy :(

9 Sep

IMG_5317My husband and I have had our dog Lexi for about 12 years now. She was 8 months when we helped to save her, so she is about 13 years old. She is a large dog, a border collie/greyhound mix, and she is beautiful. She has been my closest companion for about as long as my husband and I have been together. She was mistreated by previous owners and our friend brought her to us, of course, just to look at her, I couldn’t very well say no! She was scared of everything, stairs, cars, loud noises etc. She was very nervous and skittish. This didn’t last long. As soon as she found out that we weren’t about to mistreat her, she was happy as a lark and would shake with excitement just to go for a car ride!

She has moved with us from the country to the city, she has welcomed our babies into the home and has grown with us as a family. She even welcomed the cat! They play like two puppies together! I really don’t think that our cat Berger really knows that he is a cat!

Now, twelve years on to being a member of the family, she is getting quite old and quite unwell. It really breaks my heart toIMG_6453 see her in pain, and we have even been giving her some doggie aspirin, which is all natural products. For a while it made a huge difference, she was running again, and had no more accidents in the house! Her coat even got shinier. But, now, even with the puppy pills, she is getting worse again. I know that there is nothing that the vet can do for her. I have lived my life with dogs and each one lived to a very old age, and this is what happens. There are more accidents, the vision is worse and since Lexi is the first really big dog that I have had get to old age, I now know that their hips and legs get worse with time.

IMG_5320Just last night, I was woken up with the sound of Lexi walking around the house, she was walking around for a good 15 minutes, until I got up. Well, she had already made a big mess, so I decided that it wouldn’t hurt to put her outside. I waited for 10 minutes and brought her back in and went to bed. Well, she was walking around again and I thought I heard her upstairs in my son’s room, so, I got back up out of bed at 4 am to see where she was….. yep….she made a mess in my son’s room! Ugh! She was just out! I brought her back down and sent her out yet again! I let her stay out until she barked this time. I lay on the couch to sleep a little, when I closed my eyes, she barked to be let in! 4:30 am, I let her in. I lay on the couch, by this point, resistance is futile! Another 20 minutes of her walking around, and I have no idea what she was doing and why she wasn’t lying down at all. 10 minutes later, she sticks her face in mine. This is her telling me that she needs to go out! Ugh! 5 am, I let her outside until she barks. By this time, neighbours are getting up to get ready for work, the birds are starting to sing, and it’s getting light outside! Finally! 5:30, she barks. I let her in and she lays down beside the couch to relax. Peace. I can sleep!

Now, she does not usually act like this. She does have to go out about every half hour to an hour at night time and I have to wait until the last minute before I go to bed to let her out for the last time. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I know she is in pain, but is that enough to take her life? I don’t think so. I really don’t want to see her so uncomfortable and in so much pain, as her back legs and hips are really taking it out of her. I cannot see myself taking her in and willingly having someone take her away from me.

I have already had a talk with my oldest son about how old she is and that she won’t live forever. I had to warn him. He does not do well with bad things, with warning, he will be able to handle it a little bit better. This little guy cried when he saw all the trees down from the last bad storm we had. Sensitive guy!

I don’t just want to let her die in pain either.

I am at a standstill right now. I have no idea what to do. I know how I feel, I know what I don’t want her to go through, but I don’t believe in taking her life either. What’s right? What’s fair?

I  just know, I have a poor baby puppy! It’s hard to see her this way, I am going to love her as much as I can, while I can!

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