It’s A New Day!

8 Sep

We have good days and we have bad days. Some days we make bad choices and others we are okay! Well, lately I have been feeling like I have been making bad choices for myself. Nothing real bad like hitting people or robbing a bank, it’s more internal than that. The choice to sit and binge watch a television show instead of folding laundry or cleaning. The choice to have a snack of potato chips instead of an apple. The kind of choices that a lot of people are familiar with, I am quite sure.

I was feeling down and out about my choices recently, wanting to have a super clean home and a svelte figure….until my neighbour said to me….”tomorrow is a new day”. Yes!!! It is! It just clicked! Tomorrow is a new day, I shouldn’t dwell on my past choices, just worry about the choices that I am making right now, on this day! Then, it traveled into my brain a little farther, and I decided to pick apart the choices that I have been making and reason out why. Because, it is not what we do, it’s why we do it!

This is a scary place to be….. the why. I really do not like the answers I get when I ask Why! It leads to feelings of unworthiness and depression and anxiety……and this is the bi-product of why.

So, I am prepping to write my book. This will help me out tremendously. A lot of things have happened to me or happened to others around me, in which affected me in the process. This will be a healing process and bring self awareness to me and it will be a therapy of sorts for me as well. So, until I can sit down and type for a couple  of hours a day, I will start being aware of my choices and try to make only good choices for me and my family.

I am going to try to save money, eat healthier, be more active, organize my home and organize my head! Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not a giant mess who is about to fall apart, I am just a regular woman with a lot of worry and anxiety, eager to be rid of it!

No more excuses on why I shouldn’t. I know why I don’t want to, I know why I am like this in the first place, and I know that I cannot change things in my past. I should stop thinking about the pain and hurt little girl I used to be. I need to move on and up. I am in control and the only things that can hurt me now, are the things that I allow to hurt me!

I will fight back, I will recognize my own feelings and deal with them as it comes. I will no longer brush them under the rug. I will take a long hard look at them, and catalogue them, find the root and write about it!

Today is a new day and I will take it on with full lungs and a positive outlook!

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