A Fonder Heart!

1 Sep

I recently went away with my husband for our 11th anniversary. It is not often that we get to go by ourselves anywhere, we get a babysitter maybe every 2-3 months….. I don’t think that we get enough time together in the first place, since I work days and he is on afternoons. I see him for about 2 hours every day, and sometimes not even that. He is also in a band and he goes to practice on one of the days that he has off, so I see him for maybe 2 and a half hours that day. Fridays are the only days we get to actually be together, and even then, I work later on those days and I am completely bushed by the time I get home. So, needless to say, we needed this little getaway, even if it was only about 2 hours away from home!

I had been feeling very stressed out and my head had been completely full of things like work and worry and stress and anxiety…. it doesn’t make for a very fun mommy, so I had guilt about that as well. And, being almost the end of summer, the kids were starting to drive me up the wall! They want to do things constantly, and go places and see people and spend all of my non existent money. More more more….. they want,fight fight fight with each other, I’m bored, I don’t want to, can we go? can I? why not? not fair! Pout, pout, some cries….. But then some days are fun, with little trips to the water, to grandma’s, Legoland, Toronto, Niagara Falls, Ripleys Aquarium, in a hotel! In a pool, in the sprinkler, playing with the neighbourhood kids, going for walks etc.

But, that gets to be a little much too…. I needed a break! My kids were wearing me out!

Going away, just my hubby and I was great! We got to do grown up things for 3 whole days! It was completely fantastic! Visiting wineries and eating out, sleeping in, did I mention wine? Ha ha!

We were taking walks in the evening and just taking our time with things, and enjoying each other’s company. This was really really great, and I think that every married couple that has busy lives needs to get away every so often to reconnect with each other. But on the second day, I was feeling anxious and cranky because I missed my kids! I missed them so much, it was all I could do from calling my mom to talk to the kids! This really shocked me! I needed a break, and I thought that I would be refreshed when I came back and be the happy go lucky, fun mommy again! But I needed my child fix! I needed the hugs, the mom…mom….mom…, the I love you’s and the laughs. I even ended up having a dream that my oldest was about 10 years older and 6 feet tall! I woke up just wanting to talk to him!

Needless to say, I was very happy to see the kids! I hugged them so hard, I wanted to cry because I missed them so much! And, I have been a lot more patient and slower to anger.

Even though it hurt to be away from them, I really believe that it kind of freshened up the whole parenting job. They are my life and the best job in the world is being Morley and Adam’s mother, but a weekend away is always good now and then.

I remember being a child and really ticking off my aunts and uncles and they would warn us if we were in the car going somewhere and misbehaving that they would make us get out and leave us on the side of the road! Of course it never got this far….. for me….but still, there is a point where adults just lose it completely!

I have to remind myself sometimes on how young my children actually are! My youngest is 6. He looks so sweet and innocent! But… looks can be deceiving! Ha ha ha! He really is a sweety, he just needs a little more guidance on what is right and wrong behaviour, which is completely normal for every 6 year old out there.

In any case, Absence made my heart not just grow fonder, but see things maybe in a different light for a while! I never want to get grumpy again! Yeah, right…..its bound to happen, but I might have a little bit of a lighter hearted reaction next time!

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