The Secret Code

13 Aug

I remember the days when I would be playing with my friends and we didn’t really care about much, mostly, about making the most of our day before it became dark and we had to come inside for the night. Now, things are completely different. Instead, now we have to worry about bills and lessons for the kids, supper, work, and debt….the never ending debt. Along with all of that, we have to be conscious of our words to everyone at all times.

If, as an adult we speak what we think, or speak unguarded, we can be thought of as a “little off”, or obnoxious, and then there is the worry about what to say or not to say to specific people. This is soooo tiring, and maybe I need to relax and stop trying to please everyone, or find people who can focus on the real person I am instead of trying to read into everything that comes out of my mouth. I find though, that the minute that I stop trying to please people or just say what I think, everyone is mad at me, and they take what I say the wrong way every time. I am not a jerk,I do not say offensive things and I am polite and I don’t have super strong opinions on issues that just want to make people walk away from me. In relative terms, I’m pretty normal(he he… I called myself normal!). I mean nothing else besides what is coming out of my mouth. That is it.

It feels like at times I need to know a secret code on adult language in order to not piss everyone off, or to make people think that I am narcissistic.I try to remember how my mom sounded to others when I was younger, and she was a straight arrow, said what she thought without hurting anyone, and I remember her always avoiding certain things that were “sensitive”, but she was and is very black and white. I don’t remember anyone being mad at her for her words, but I was a kid and maybe she had the same issues that I am having now.

Another thing, as a side thought, since when is it bad to have a good self image? It isn’t and we ingrain this in our child’s minds, but as soon as an adult says something about being proud about something with themselves or shows people something that they have made or did, it becomes showboating and they are shunned or mocked for it, as soon as the proud person turns around, people are rolling their eyes and talking to one another about him/her. I can’t wait for the day that everyone is just happy with being, the day that we all realize that being different from one another is a positive thing and that life and people are interesting. Everyone has a story.

Someone the other day had met a family member of mine, and recently told me how nice he thought she was. Now, she is a knock out, tall, beautiful complexion, and very long legs, but more than this, she is a great person. In jest, I asked him why he couldn’t tell we were related….we look exactly alike… ha ha! If you have never seen me, I am medium height and plump. We look nothing alike and I use this as a joke. But, other than that, I told him that it’s funny that I used to babysit her and we really didn’t have much to do with each other until 8 years ago, and even then, we didn’t become super close until about 2 years ago or so. In that time, we have both found out how alike we are, and it blows our minds every time!

Now I didn’t say this to him to be narcissistic or to be all about me, it was just something that I thought of at the time. I do not put myself on a pedestal, I never have and never will. But I am sure this conversation was taken the wrong way completely. I had no meaning of telling this person that I am great and nice as well, it was just a relation topic, maybe an explanation of our relationship to one another. But I thought about it later, and the misreading of what I said came to my mind. And, if I thought about it hours later, I am sure someone thought about it seconds after I had said it.

I absolutely hate this. I always get heard wrong or when someone thinks that I say one thing, I didn’t really, and then they stop listening so I can’t even tell them what I actually said.

This really sounds like a poor me story, but oh well…..

Poor me! Ha ha! Just kidding. It’s a vent. An explanation as it were on all of those poor sods out there like me, who are always misjudged, or heard wrong or our words are translated wrong in others heads.

But seriously, why do we have to be so sensitive to what we think we heard or what we think was implied? Can’t we just react to facts? And accept the things that people say for what they say, not what is implied. Implications cause a lot of harm, especially when people assume what they are. Can’t we just speak honestly?

It’s pretty refreshing to hear my children talk when I get home. I like to hear their honesty, their pure thoughts without anything to sway them one way or the other. Like when my one son acts like his brothers bum is a drum! ha ha! Or when they say honest things to adults. We are the ones who tell children about the politics of speaking to people. I understand we have to guide our kids and not say rude things about others, but honestly is sometimes flushed down the toilet too. If only there was a handbook to life!

In any case, I am going to keep being me, and if people think of me something other than what I am or who I am, it is a reflection on their way of thinking, not mine.

Damn this adult secret code!

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2 Responses to “The Secret Code”

  1. Alexandra August 13, 2015 at 11:27 am #

    QUOTE: “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

    Like

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