Dream Crusher, Heart Breaker

11 Mar

So, I made a call this morning to someone I love dearly. I miss her and haven’t seen her lately because she works alot at this time of year. I was almost in tears because it was nice to talk to her and hear her voice. I was telling her about things with the family and I mentioned that I was having some problems with my oldest son. He has been sneaking things and telling lies in order to get away with things and avoid punishments. This is a regular problem for a 7 year old boy, or so I thought. Well, I was told that I am too hard on my oldest. He has more chores, more responsibilities and apparently, I don’t make my youngest do anything.

My children have chores, and they are designed for my children for their specific ages and abilities. There is a chore chart on our fridge that they have to look at every day, and do the assigned chores. I also sit with them after supper and they do 2-3 homework pages, which I help them with. I think that teaching children responsibilities is very important. I do not want spoiled ungrateful children who talk back to their parents and get whatever they want when they want it. I am strict. I know this. My children are well rounded, who are polite to people and clean up after themselves. All kids slack and I let the chores slack off sometimes, In the end, they know that everyone has resposibilites and why we do. We tell the kids that our household is a team and that everyone has to participate to make the house run.

Of course my oldest son has more things to do. He is older and can do more things. As my younger son gets older, he will get more responsibilities as well.

Why do my loved ones want to judge my parenting and tell me that what I am doing is wrong? That is a blow that is below the belt, and it is hurtful and mean. It is hard enough being a parent, having the constant thoughts that I am not a good enough parent, always questioning whether my decisions are the right ones, and the guilt that never stops. On top of all the self doubt, I get someone telling me that what I am actually doing is bad. That is rough.

My kids are healthy, smart, happy, responsible, sensitive and really really really loved. Plus they are super cute!

I have no idea why I listen to these negative comments, but I can’t help it, and it hurts me to the core. I take everyone’s crap and don’t defend myself enough. Why? I just want peace and happiness!

I have judged in the past, others ways of parenting, but I didn’t say anything. I know it’s not good to judge in the first place, and I had to remind myself that it is none of my business and it is someone else’s life. I don’t say anything. I am no expert. I do the best I can with what I have and the support of my husband! The person that judged me is not perfect, I know this, but I know that she did the best she could. She made some serious mistakes, but I would never tell her that. You know the saying that every time you point a finger at someone, there is 3 fingers pointing back at you…..this is a serious example of that. It makes me upset and sad, and angry at the same time.

This is my life. I am making decisions that I deem fit for my family. Every situation is different, every person is different. Excuse me for not fitting a mould or doing exactly what others think that I should do. My family is my everything. I would lie in the street and die for my family if I knew it would save their lives. I am Momma Bear. No one has the right to judge me and my family, just like I have no right to judge others.

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