Let It Go Already!

12 Nov

quoteI previously wanted to call this posting “Justice Seeker”, but then thought that would be going overboard, and I would never want to do that! Ha Ha! Just so you know, I have a tendency to go a smidge overboard sometimes.

I have some pain in my jaw. I clench my jaw when I worry and stress, telling me that I need to let go of something, or deal with it head on. Having this pain, and knowing why I have this pain, I still need my dear, darling, saviour, Kathy Milliken. I need to release, and not just in a journal, but to a person, someone with insight! She is the one. So, she just guides me to the things I already know, and kind of nudges me into the path of healing myself. I need this. I think everyone needs this from time to time. We all have the capacity to heal ourselves and to find our root feelings and deal with them instead of the pretend emotions that fear or happiness disguise themselves as. My feelings are always fear based. Damn them!

So, in a moment, as I sit before Kathy, feeling like I keep getting pushed down, when I just climbed up a little, I get pushed down again, by outsiders. These people, and there is always one, I don’t like them, the negativity that surrounds them seems to have a major effect on me. I hold on to it. I did not know why at all. Kathy, then told me that I invite these people into my life! I was shocked at this statement to say the least. I do not invite negativity and drama into my life. I want a happy little life with my family and my business. No drama. Ah….how wrong I was.

Could it be that I invite this negativity into my life? If so, how? why? I was so confused. But, then she explained it so I would get it! Sometimes, I am a little thick! Ha Ha! So, these people cannot turn your life upside down and absorb so much of your energy if you don’t let it. I am letting these people effect me. I let it happen. They cannot come into my life and toss it around if I prevent it from happening. If I wasn’t so upset about it, I would not feel this pain in my jaw and up the sides of my temples. I let it happen because I feel like I have been treated unfairly.

My moral compass always points in the direction of fairness and respect. These are words that I speak of the most. Another thing that Kathy has enlightened me of. Is it really so true that I do not pay attention to myself? I know who I am, but I don’t think I pay enough attention. I should really do that!

So, whenever I am upset, it is because some injustice has been done, or someone is being treated unfairly and withoutBrass Scales Of Justice Off Balance, Symbolizing Injustice, Over White respect. I hold these things in very high regard, they are most important to me. And now that a veil has been removed, I can see it with every aspect of my life. My parenting, I do not deal with my children talking to me in a disrespectful way, and I now see that I say things like that alot to my children. As well as appreciating what they do have instead of griping about what they do not have. I want my children to be respectable adults with good morals and values. I want them to see value in the things that most people would not.

In the grand scheme of things, I know that what other people do, I cannot change, but I can change myself. My actions and reactions can guide me to a less stressful life. I take everything to heart, and it is about time that I stop doing that. If someone does something that effects me negatively, I cannot change this, I do not want to act in retaliation, I will brush it off and keep going in my upward stride.

calmJust let it go, I have to keep telling myself. These people do not let my actions consume them, why should I let their actions consume me? Let it GO Already!

Loosen the jaw and get rid of the tightness in my temples is my goal for the week!

I shall prevail!

Thanks Kathy, you have enlightened me and guided me to self awareness and healing for nearly 4 years now!

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