Just call me Charlie Brown!

17 Oct

Vacation is over, and I have had one full day back at the grind! It really throws a person off to have some relaxation and then be put back in the swing of things again! Half the day I felt like I was just pacing in circles, not knowing quite how to get my bearings!

On the wonderful little vacation I had, I actually was able to read 2 books front to back without falling asleep after a paragraph! That felt so wonderful! I love to read! However, in the busy lifestyle I lead, it is almost impossible to just sit and read.book lover At least when I watch television at night, I can fold laundry and do the budget and such. I should make more time to just do nothing but feed my brain with words and stories, I try! I have started listening topiano-background-1680x10502 classical music at the bakery in the morning. My new found passion for piano has sparked my interest for classical music.

So, when we were at the cabin, I thought about my parents a lot. It has been two weeks now without any contact from either of them. I have not written my mother any more letters, however, I am debating on writing my dad a letter, explaining everything. I doubt my mother has read her letter to him. I really loathe when people shelve their emotions, they suppress them and leave them inside to fester. I have learned that journalling, blogging and talking to my friends and family is the only way to go. Why internalize things? It just causes more pain in the long run. I would never let anything out that I thought would purposely hurt someone else, but I have to let people know if they have hurt me, or if they are stepping too far for my comfort. The generation of my parents was not all raised like this, nor was I. But I learned.

I have been feeling very down-trodden of late, in a kind of stupor that I am trying to hide from my kids and husband, I feel my pain, but I am not emoting my emotions onto the ones I love,especially my children. I think it is healthy for children to see that adults argue and have discussions, but I do not believe that they should feel the stress of adult problems. I wouldn’t want them to grow up too early. I want them to be upstanding adults and be able to take care of themselves, but their time for problems will come, they don’t need mine.   Down in the dumps is my feelings, trying to look on the bright side is kind of out of reach right now, especially when I came back from my little get-a-way to find another bakery has opened up just one store away from mine. How is that for a welcome back? Granted, they just bake breads, but still…..it’s a bakery. Just one step away from my front door. How inconsiderate. I know, I know, it is all business and it can be a harsh world, but this is a small city with a very small town mind-set. We are each others neighbours and we respect each other….except for this exception. I wanted to move my bakery down town, there is another bakery there which specializes in gluten free and allergy free baked goods, I called their landlord to see about a space, he asked them for their okay with it, and it was not okay. I could have rented another space in the area because there are a lot of empty units, but I did not. I respected their space and their opinion. I do not need to make enemies or poach other people’s customers. It’s dirty business to do that. I do not want that reputation and it would make me feel terrible.

So, I hope this guy can sleep with himself at night, knowing that he moved next door to a family run business. I have invested so much time and money and emotion into this place. I have dealt with the guilt of being a full time working mother and being tired when I get home.

Charlie-brown-1-sadJust call me Charlie Brown. I just get rocks for Halloween and the football is always being pulled out from in front of me just when I am about to kick. ha ha!  That sounds so depressing!

I am trying to keep my head up through all of this. At least I have my hubby and kids, and my best friends, Elissa, Kyle and Shanna.

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