Hitting Me Where it Hurts

29 Sep

So, I am beginning to fade fast from all of the workload that has fallen on me. I know I am the owner, the boss and the one who can do every job in the bakery, but it is starting to wear on me that I have to do all the jobs. I am training someone new, and she is going to work out perfectly, and I hope she stays on and loves working with Shanna and I. My staff becomes like family to me. I spend more time with my staff than I actually do with my own family….. maybe even amounts of time. But still, it’s alot of time with them. So, with training and teaching co-op students, and training 2 new staff members, doing all of the baking and a little more than half of the decorating, I am super beat.

So, when people ask me to do something, I want to say yes to everyone. I know that I can’t. I say maybe if I have time now.

Actually, I am not looking forward to sitting in my office to complete all of the book work that I haven’t been able to do for the last month. It is going to be painful! I will pull through! Ha Ha! There could be worse things!

So, as you know, my family and I are now vegan. We actually really love it! I am super excited because I am learning to cook delicious and healthy meals for my family. I pretty much LOVE to cook now. I have been making broth to use in cooking dishes and I am making soups and other dishes which we freeze so we can eat good meals in the winter when money is a little slim. I made a pot pie last night that I really loved. Even my kids ate their entire serving! Sometimes it is hard to get them to finish a meal, but since we are now vegan, it is especially important that they finish their meals. So, we made a couple of soups to freeze, and we were going to my parents house on the weekend, so we decided to bring along 2 different soups and some bread that my hubby had made. When it came to lunch time, my dad refused to eat with us. He was angry and started yelling at us, saying that we are shoving our eating habits down his throat. I took great offence to this, since we had brought cauliflower soup….. there is nothing terrible about that. Even people who eat meat, eat soup. So, he made it quite clear that he did not accept the way we eat and said that we force it on him. Now, I don’t want my children to think that there is anything wrong with our choice of diet. It is just food. That is it. Why is it such a big deal? Does my dad eat potatoes and vegetables? Yes. Does he eat soup? Yes. Does he eat fruit? Yes.  There is nothing that we do that is offensive or mean. We eat healthy, it is our choice to eat how we do and we do not force anyone else to eat that way either. I do not go to them and start yelling because they want to feed us chicken nuggets. Which my mother is willing to feed my youngest son. We told them both that we do not eat meat. What is wrong with that? What is so hard with feeding a vegetarian or vegan? Not every dish has meat.

Anyways, I left my parents house is disgust and anger. My children heard me defending our eating habits. I am fine with this. I don’t want them thinking that people can shove their ideals on to them. I want them to know that it is okay to be different, no matter who says something. My 7 year old understands all of this, but my 5 year old does not, and he is an easy target to change his mind. When he is old enough he can make a decision, but we will make sure that it is educated. I was very hurt by my parents and I cannot believe that they are letting a thing like food get in the way of family. I am disgusted and hurt and disappointed. I never thought they would turn on me like this.I am my mother’s only child, and my step-father is acting child-like. I think that his constant negativity is rubbing off on her. Which surprises me immensely. My mother is a strong person, but she is being worn down.

I wrote her a letter so she can read my thoughts. I find writing letters much better than talking. I get a chance to say my piece, and not be interrupted or screamed at.

We shall see. Until then, I feel broken inside and I am glad I have my husband and children. They are my strength and if I need a hug, they are right there. I will never turn on my children. Especially over something so silly.

This is where it hurts. If someone puts my family down. Our choices and our way of life. Someone telling my children the way they are being raised is wrong….I will fight. I will protect my own, whether or not we are being attacked by our own. Family is everything to me. All family. It does not matter to me how they eat, or choose to live. I love them all for who they are. What they do does not always define who they are.

I just want peace.

Why is this hard? Why is everyone a critic?

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