Kids Are Cruel

18 Jul

When I say that kids are cruel, I mean, kids do not understand the things that they say are hurtful….to their parents! Man! My kids regularly hurt my feelings! I know, it sucks to admit this because as a parent I should understand where they are in their life, in their comprehension of the world around them and such. But sometimes I just can’t! I was with my youngest son at the YMCA, watching my oldest son’s swimming lessons. I had him on the counter in front of me, and I went to kiss him and I told him that I loved him. He backed away from my kiss and said “no, I don’t love you mommy”….OUCH! That stung me so much that I had tears starting to form in my eyes, I was truly hurt and offended at his reaction. I told him that it wasn’t nice and that he hurt my feelings. His reaction was “I love you mommy. I love you” Which, to be honest, made my chest relax. But as a parent what do we do? I know, they are testing us. This little one was testing me, what for, I have no idea. Maybe to see if he can inflict pain by his words, or to know the full meaning of Love? Whatever it was, it sucked hard! He was fine after that and never said anything like that again. But he tends to say no to things and be a little harsh, which we are trying to make him understand how rude that is.

Not only did this happen, but 2 days later, my oldest says something that can knock me to the floor and still makes me think and wonder, and still hurt from. So, we were hanging out on the “family bed” which is my hubby and I’s bed, which everyone congregates on when I would like to lay down and rest. My oldest son is sitting behind me doing an impression of a very annoying character on a tv show that they like to watch. I tease him and push him off the bed. I did not push hard, I more or less slid him off the bed, he did not fall. I did this a couple of times. Every time he was doing this voice in my ear. So, that passes, and everyone moves, hubby goes to the kitchen for something, the little one is playing with an animal and my oldest lays down with me this time. He is doing a crossword and we are talking. I look at the clock and tease him that he is going to bed….it is 7 pm. He says to me “it’s only because you don’t want me around”…..YIKES! This is another shock to my system. I ask him why he would say this. He says because I pushed him away from me earlier. I explain to him why he was pushed away. He does not know when to stop when he thinks he is being funny. And I continue to tell him that I always want him around and he is mistaken. “I love you” I say, “I always want you around me”. He does not look at me, and proceeds to ask me a question about his crossword. This little boy is 7 years old and well advanced for his age. His comprehension is amazing as well as his reading level. I am not sure if he believed what he said or not. I am at a loss for this one, and It still stings badly!

I want to resolve this, but I think that I would only be resolving it for my own mind, and he just said what he said and hasn’t thought about it since. I can’t be sure.

In any case, kids are cruel. Our children are cruel to us and they say mean things, which they don’t realize hurt us. Where is this learned? Is this nature or nurture? Testing the waters to see how much they can get away with, to see how important they are to us, to see how much we listen to them etc. I am sure I have said something hurtful to my mother as a child, not knowing. It does not make it easier whatsoever. 

It’s funny that we are adults and have the upper hand, we are more learned and experienced, but a child can bring us to our knees!

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