In A Funk

16 Oct

Okay, so, we went away for Thanksgiving to my husband’s family’s cabin in the Tub….this was a great getaway! I could just relax and not think and not answer the phone or emails….just be! We had a wonderful turkey cooked in a big wood stove, the fire in the fireplace roaring, a drink in hand and the kids playing, exploring and getting as dirty as humanly possible! Everyone was happy!

I knew that I had relaxed and had time to just hang out, but I didnt realize how much until I got home. I immediately started cleaning and doing laundry, washing the floor, doing dishes…etc. When I am home all of the time, I begin to hate my surroundings! Cabin fever I think it’s called! So, when I hate my surroundings, I don’t really want to make them better, and thinks start to slack. Now, I am not a lazy person. In fact, I feel like I am a lazy person if I sit down during the day to have a tea. Always thinking about what has to be done! Now, I know that I just came back from a mini vacation, but I think I am back in a “funk” again! I have kids clothes spilling out of bins in their rooms, which need to be gone through and stored properly. I have another bin downstairs in the laundry room, just begging to be washed and gone through as well! I have to get out all the winter clothes/shoes/boots, etc. for the kids. I have to scan and see who needs what for outdoor clothes for the winter. And, I have to find that bin that I put away last year with the Halloween costumes in it! UGH! I have to do all this, and I just don’t want to! I want to organize my office area and clean out all the stuff that ends up in the laundry room, but it’s getting started that is killing me! There are so many things that I have to do or want to do, that it clouds into one big fog and everything gets lost! Then I just say “screw it!” And I end up putting clothes away from a week ago, and washing the floors.

Now, I am not a dirty person, my house is always relatively clean, exception of some toys, stray dishes from the kids and some socks that Morley likes to take off as soon as I put them on him! I feel dirty though, when I can’t get to all the stuff I have to! I don’t want to be in this funk, because I know this stuff has to be done, and if I don’t start doing things soon, there will be a point of no return, and I am NOT going to let my house get that way, or my brain for that matter! YOu know, come to think of it…..it’s not really my house that is that bad, it’s in my head! I need to clear everything out and do some dusting in there! Clean out all the uneccesary worrying, the anxieties, and the need to do everything myself. I am sure you mothers out there know exactly what I am talking about. It’s how we cope which is different! Some like a glass of wine, some like to shop, some like a mani/pedi, some bake, clean…etc. You get the idea! I used to deal with stress by cleaning. I used to be a clean freak! Vacuuming everyday, making sure there was not a dish in the sink if I left the house! YEAH! That doesnt happen anymore!

If you were to see inside my head, I am not sure that you could organize it! I have to start doing things as I think of them. I am a list maker, so I have to start my list making again and stick to it! I love a good list! To Do list is my favourite! ha! ha! Grocery list, Christmas gift list etc. Lists are great!  I know, WEIRD!!! I am also addicted to cleaning products! My husband used to have to stop me from going down that aisle in the grocery store! See, I told you I used to be a clean freak!

I wish I could just turn my house upside down and shake it like a box, get rid of everything I don’t need or use and just put all the rest back! I guess that is called Molly Maid! ha! ha!

Really, when it comes to my priorities, it’s the kids first! I have a clean home for me and the kids, I feel guilty when the floor is dirty, or when I see the bottom of their socks with a bit of dirt on them. My gut just rolls. That is when I get out the bucket and start scrubbing. I do it about 1-2 times a week, but with 2 kids and a husband, it doesnt take much to get this floor dirty! What is it that ends up on the floor anyway? I just wash the floor and clean the rug, an hour later, its full of stuff again! There are crumbs and bits of paper……where in God’s name did these bits of crap come from? ha! ha!

Anyways, I am working on getting out of my funk, in the same time, I have to take on the weight loss challenge again as well! This nasty beast looks me in the eye everyday! The bane of my existence…..food! I know how I should eat, and what and how much…..but I just can’t. I know it’s common sense….just stop eating all the crap! It’s more than that though! It’s the relationship with food….it’s the love/hate relationship. This is not the ordinary person who thinks, I am hungry, I should eat something. NO. This is, I am bored, I should eat something. I am anxious, I should eat something, I am worried, I should eat something!

This is not me by the way! LOL

I did lose about 40 pounds last spring, and I have kept it off, but I slacked off and just stopped caring for a while. I need to lose about another whopping 60 more pounds before I am happy. I mean truly happy. That would be 100 pounds all in all. And, I could stand to lose more than that, but in time! I don’t want to set my goals too high before I lose 5 pounds! I want to do it little by little, which is the healthy way to go!

Enough of that depressing stuff!

Halloween is coming, and my son wants to be a fireman! We have the firehat and the boots, but to go out and find a jacket and pants is pretty impossible! What happened to all the simple costumes? I remember being a kid and making my costume every year! A ghost, the easiest costume ever! The hobo, the fancy lady, clown, etc. Now, I go look for a costume and I get a see through nylon costume that is supposed to look like Woody from Toy Story. Cheap! I want a quality costume, and simple!

Pumpkin Morley 2008

I know the world has changed, and kids want more nowadays, so I just take a stand and complain! ha! ha! No, really, it should be easy to find a fireman costume, or a doctor costume, or something like that! Not every little boy wants to be Batman or Spiderman. Some want to be cowboys! I know that I will heed to my child when he wants to be some Ben 10 character, but for now, simple is pretty good!

Giraffe Adam 2009

Morley is really getting into the whole Halloween thing now! Which is pretty fun to see him get all excited! The best thing about his age now, is that it is more about the going out and having people give him candy and seeing other people. After we come in the house, he has a few pieces of candy and the next day he forgets all about the candy! The bad thing is that Gord, my hubby, remembers! He is the chocolate monster around here!
I guess my funk chat got intercepted by everything else going on in my head! ha! ha! But that is the fun of it all! Some people don’t understand the point or reason behind it, and I say….try it out! Someone out there will think you are interesting…..or just amusing! ha! ha!
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