Archive | October, 2010

It’s All About…..Me??

25 Oct

So, after about a 2 week rest from blogging…I am back! And I can tell you, I have been very busy. And it is just going to get busier! I am trying to get all my ducks in row to open a shop. Hopefully I will be opening in February, or sooner. It’s the whole waiting game. Waiting for people to get things done or moved, or waiting for money, and time! While I am waiting, I am planning, and calling people and travelling around trying to find appliances and supplies!

All of this, and trying to keep the kids, house, husband and finances in order! Geez! My brain is totally fried! I am also trying to organize the office end of things and figuring out better systems to keep everything organized and handy when I need to look something up. So, flooring has to be done, appliances need to be bought and delivered and set up, painting needs to happen, I need to get a bunch of papers, and I can’t really do anything until some big things are moved out. Then I can lay down the flooring and then I can bring in some equipment, then I can get some stuff done! I am already approved from the health dept., but they will have to approve it later as well, before I open. And, I am sorry, but the health department feels like when you are driving down the road and a cop is driving behind you, but you arent doing anything wrong, you still feel nervous and guilty! ha! ha! I think this is normal!?

I have to do my baking on a day when I also have to take my son to a music class. I get to relax on Sunday’s and Monday’s. But even then, there is no relaxing going on! Take today for instance. My 17 month old is being a real crank lately, he is getting in 3 teeth, one of which is a molar, and he is holding his ears alot. He has a little rash around his mouth and he is drinking liquids like crazy. So, I think, yes, he is teething, but he might have an ear infection too! So, at 10 am, I have someone coming to the shop to measure for flooring. Half hour later, I am expecting a representative from the company that I am going to buy appliances from to measure. I have the kids with me. Then, I had to take the kids to my family doctor, who is in another town 45 minutes away. While I am there, I visit some family. By the time I get home, I have to shove dinner in the oven. The kids don’t eat supper until 7pm, and bathed right after that! Don’t read into this, the kids ate all day long! I just felt bad for them having supper at their regular bath time!

So, can I take a day and get my nails done? NO.  First of all….nails? With the amount of fondant I have to work with and buttercream icing, and cake, there is no room for fancy nails! I would love to have a manicure, but it just isn’t logical for me. Can I get a pedicure? NO. Oh, how I love a pedicure! It just feels good! I hate my feet, I think they are the ugliest things on the face of the earth, but I love them after a pedicure! ha! ha! Now, I do get my hair done. It takes about 6 months to go see my love! My one and only genius of the mop! Blair! Ah, Blair! I love when you touch my hair! ha! ha! THE greatest head massage you will ever have! AND, he can just stand there and look at you and make you feel great! Blair Cuts.

I don’t want to do a ton of complaining, because all of this work and headaching, is making my dream come true. Even though it feels like it is taking forever! I have been doing this for 3 years now, and a shop at this point is a major plus for me and my family!

But, there is no time for me! I better get used to it!

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In A Funk

16 Oct

Okay, so, we went away for Thanksgiving to my husband’s family’s cabin in the Tub….this was a great getaway! I could just relax and not think and not answer the phone or emails….just be! We had a wonderful turkey cooked in a big wood stove, the fire in the fireplace roaring, a drink in hand and the kids playing, exploring and getting as dirty as humanly possible! Everyone was happy!

I knew that I had relaxed and had time to just hang out, but I didnt realize how much until I got home. I immediately started cleaning and doing laundry, washing the floor, doing dishes…etc. When I am home all of the time, I begin to hate my surroundings! Cabin fever I think it’s called! So, when I hate my surroundings, I don’t really want to make them better, and thinks start to slack. Now, I am not a lazy person. In fact, I feel like I am a lazy person if I sit down during the day to have a tea. Always thinking about what has to be done! Now, I know that I just came back from a mini vacation, but I think I am back in a “funk” again! I have kids clothes spilling out of bins in their rooms, which need to be gone through and stored properly. I have another bin downstairs in the laundry room, just begging to be washed and gone through as well! I have to get out all the winter clothes/shoes/boots, etc. for the kids. I have to scan and see who needs what for outdoor clothes for the winter. And, I have to find that bin that I put away last year with the Halloween costumes in it! UGH! I have to do all this, and I just don’t want to! I want to organize my office area and clean out all the stuff that ends up in the laundry room, but it’s getting started that is killing me! There are so many things that I have to do or want to do, that it clouds into one big fog and everything gets lost! Then I just say “screw it!” And I end up putting clothes away from a week ago, and washing the floors.

Now, I am not a dirty person, my house is always relatively clean, exception of some toys, stray dishes from the kids and some socks that Morley likes to take off as soon as I put them on him! I feel dirty though, when I can’t get to all the stuff I have to! I don’t want to be in this funk, because I know this stuff has to be done, and if I don’t start doing things soon, there will be a point of no return, and I am NOT going to let my house get that way, or my brain for that matter! YOu know, come to think of it…..it’s not really my house that is that bad, it’s in my head! I need to clear everything out and do some dusting in there! Clean out all the uneccesary worrying, the anxieties, and the need to do everything myself. I am sure you mothers out there know exactly what I am talking about. It’s how we cope which is different! Some like a glass of wine, some like to shop, some like a mani/pedi, some bake, clean…etc. You get the idea! I used to deal with stress by cleaning. I used to be a clean freak! Vacuuming everyday, making sure there was not a dish in the sink if I left the house! YEAH! That doesnt happen anymore!

If you were to see inside my head, I am not sure that you could organize it! I have to start doing things as I think of them. I am a list maker, so I have to start my list making again and stick to it! I love a good list! To Do list is my favourite! ha! ha! Grocery list, Christmas gift list etc. Lists are great!  I know, WEIRD!!! I am also addicted to cleaning products! My husband used to have to stop me from going down that aisle in the grocery store! See, I told you I used to be a clean freak!

I wish I could just turn my house upside down and shake it like a box, get rid of everything I don’t need or use and just put all the rest back! I guess that is called Molly Maid! ha! ha!

Really, when it comes to my priorities, it’s the kids first! I have a clean home for me and the kids, I feel guilty when the floor is dirty, or when I see the bottom of their socks with a bit of dirt on them. My gut just rolls. That is when I get out the bucket and start scrubbing. I do it about 1-2 times a week, but with 2 kids and a husband, it doesnt take much to get this floor dirty! What is it that ends up on the floor anyway? I just wash the floor and clean the rug, an hour later, its full of stuff again! There are crumbs and bits of paper……where in God’s name did these bits of crap come from? ha! ha!

Anyways, I am working on getting out of my funk, in the same time, I have to take on the weight loss challenge again as well! This nasty beast looks me in the eye everyday! The bane of my existence…..food! I know how I should eat, and what and how much…..but I just can’t. I know it’s common sense….just stop eating all the crap! It’s more than that though! It’s the relationship with food….it’s the love/hate relationship. This is not the ordinary person who thinks, I am hungry, I should eat something. NO. This is, I am bored, I should eat something. I am anxious, I should eat something, I am worried, I should eat something!

This is not me by the way! LOL

I did lose about 40 pounds last spring, and I have kept it off, but I slacked off and just stopped caring for a while. I need to lose about another whopping 60 more pounds before I am happy. I mean truly happy. That would be 100 pounds all in all. And, I could stand to lose more than that, but in time! I don’t want to set my goals too high before I lose 5 pounds! I want to do it little by little, which is the healthy way to go!

Enough of that depressing stuff!

Halloween is coming, and my son wants to be a fireman! We have the firehat and the boots, but to go out and find a jacket and pants is pretty impossible! What happened to all the simple costumes? I remember being a kid and making my costume every year! A ghost, the easiest costume ever! The hobo, the fancy lady, clown, etc. Now, I go look for a costume and I get a see through nylon costume that is supposed to look like Woody from Toy Story. Cheap! I want a quality costume, and simple!

Pumpkin Morley 2008

I know the world has changed, and kids want more nowadays, so I just take a stand and complain! ha! ha! No, really, it should be easy to find a fireman costume, or a doctor costume, or something like that! Not every little boy wants to be Batman or Spiderman. Some want to be cowboys! I know that I will heed to my child when he wants to be some Ben 10 character, but for now, simple is pretty good!

Giraffe Adam 2009

Morley is really getting into the whole Halloween thing now! Which is pretty fun to see him get all excited! The best thing about his age now, is that it is more about the going out and having people give him candy and seeing other people. After we come in the house, he has a few pieces of candy and the next day he forgets all about the candy! The bad thing is that Gord, my hubby, remembers! He is the chocolate monster around here!
I guess my funk chat got intercepted by everything else going on in my head! ha! ha! But that is the fun of it all! Some people don’t understand the point or reason behind it, and I say….try it out! Someone out there will think you are interesting…..or just amusing! ha! ha!

Giving Thanks!

9 Oct

Random Photo....not my creation!

Well, all the cakes are finished for the weekend and I am looking forward to spending some much needed down time for Thanksgiving. Although, I did have to work hard to prepare! After baking and decorating the cakes for the business, I had to bake for Thanksgiving. My first pumpkin pie! My mom’s pastry recipe…yum! And, some buttertarts! Sometimes I do enjoy baking things other than cakes! Since I don’t do it as much, it’s something different and relaxing! I also get to see people’s reactions to my baking when I do it for family, which is always a highlight!

I am thinking of my baking schedule for the bakery when it opens, and feel free to comment on these thoughts, as to what you would like to see or taste! So, I am thinking of having a schedule of different flavoured cupcakes on given days, for example, say on a Tuesday I will have lemon cupcakes with lime buttercream, chocolate cupcakes with coconut buttercream…etc. I am thinking of maybe making one day a week to feature buttertarts as well. So that in routine, my patrons will know which flavours to expect on which days. I want to have a load of different flavoured cupcakes, however, baking 20 different flavours each day will not be easy. This is why I am thinking of the schedule. Let me know if you like!                                                         

So, on a totally different topic! I was taking a break today, just sitting outside and trying to wind down…. my hubby was bathing my youngest and I was enjoying a little bit of quiet. I looked up at the clouds(the little that I can see from my porch), and tried to relax all of my back muscles and just feel myself and listen to my thoughts. This lasted for all of 3 minutes until my oldest came out and started talking and not listening….bath time! Then, I just deserted my moment and went inside to get him into the tub (which never happened and was shifted to bed time early…ahem….3 years old!). But, I was a little disappointed that my moment couldn’t have lasted at least 5 minutes more! This is when I thought…..I am so greatful that I am not a single parent! Greatful that I have a husband that will do things around the house and help with the kids! I have to give him some real credit here…. he has started doing laundry! AND….folding! YAY! This, also, I am extremely greatful for!

And, while I am busy today, I received more phone calls from my friends than I have on any other given day! And, at first I thought…what is going on? Why is everyone calling today? My busy day? Then, I sat down and thought…..I am greatful for this! I am so lucky to have good friends, friends that need something, friends that give something, friends that lend me their ear, friends that need my ear, or shoulder, or thoughts. I had a great day today, busy, crazy, but great! My husband went out today and took our oldest son to run an errand, and I had some nice time alone with Adam, our youngest. Snuggle time, tickle time, loving time. This I enjoyed more than I can explain! The feeling of loving someone that you created, someone who loves you and needs you, smiling and hugging you….that is the greatest feeling and the most rewarding! Also, one of my greatest pleasures is seeing my parents with my kids! My parents….rural…. believe in simplicity and working hard for what they have, they live not only for themselves, they take trips and enjoy life everyday, but they also live for me and my family. While grocery shopping, they see something that the boys would like, so they buy it for next time we come over! They think of us everyday! My dad will call maybe once a week to see how the boys are and what is going on. Making sure everyone is happy, healthy and safe! Missing his grandkids!

If I see Morley(our oldest), pretending to talk on the phone to someone that he knows, I listen to his conversation, then I actually call the person he was pretending to talk to so that he can really talk to them. Most of the time it is my parents or my cousin, but this makes his day. And usually it makes my parents day as well! These little things, little moments are special. The look that Morley gets on his face when he hears the person he wants to talk to on the other line is precious! It’s surprise and greatfulness!  He loves his grandparents! He will go there for an overnight visit, and he does not want to come home! He ends up calling me grandma for the next 2 days! Which is pretty funny!  When it comes down to it, we are all little ants in a big universe, and we all have something to be greatful for! It’s nice, especially when you are down and out and look at things on the other side. Think of all the things that could be worse, be glad that we are here, glad that you have a roof over your head, or food in your stomach, or even clothes on your back. I am greatful for all of the above and more. My children are the most important people to me in my life, and I don’t think that will ever change. For that, I am greatful.  I want to thank you for sharing this with me, and for reading my thoughts, however obscure and all-over-the-place  they are! Please, this season, give thanks! Give thanks everyday! And have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Anticipation!

4 Oct

I am opening a cake/cupcake shop. I have done research, and I have been dreaming of this for about 2 years now! The time is now….it must be done! I have my location, I have some of the means, and I have more than enough drive! Now, I just have to do little by little to get it up and running! This, is always in my mind and for the last week, it has just been revolving in my head, making me spin. The anticipation to get started is insane. It’s been a long time coming and now that it is just within reach, I am more than eager, with tons of ideas and expectations!

The anticipation is so bad, that I can just lay down for a minute and feel exhausted, but have a humming feeling through my veins. It’s like I just drank a pot of coffee, but I feel tired. Does that make any sense whatsoever? Anyway, there are so many things that have to be done, people to be called, suppliers lined up, things to buy…..it’s alot! But, I am determined to do this and make it work, and hopefully it will be a success! There is no accounting for the guilt that I will feel, starting to work 5 days a week again. I quit my other job 2 months after I went back from Maternity leave after my first son was born. I thought it was hard then, leaving him to be with a babysitter for 3 days a week. This time there is 2 little ones, and I will be gone 5 days a week. It might be good for me though, and for them! I know kids need interaction with other children, learn discipline from others and to get along with other kids. This is what others tell me, but you know the feeling in your heart when you have to leave your children. That…..guilt. But I think that the kids don’t miss the parents as much as we think that they do! It’s more the parents feelings than the kids I think! Either way, it’s a sucky feeling (for lack of a better description!) ha!

So, I am working with a really close friend for the design and some logo design and such, which is really exciting! This girl has so much talent! Seriously! I hope all of you who come into the shop (when its done) will just say “Ahhhh, what a cute little place!” I want it to be modern, yet have some older elements. Cherry and sweet, just like a cupcake!

So many things have to be done! Flooring, paint, storage, appliances bought, displays made, etc. All from the bottom up! Thank you in advance to everyone who is giving me advice, helping me find my suppliers, and giving me true and honest opinions! I love you all!

Hmm

1 Oct

Sometimes I just feel like I have forgotten something! Something that is wrong, something I overlooked, someone I overlooked. I get this feeling alot! Maybe my brain is on overdrive with the kids and the cakes, and the housework, and working on opening a shop….I sit and think..hmmmm. What did I forget?

I am secretly waiting for my brain to shut down because of too much memory space taken up, and holding too many things that have to either be done, said, ordered….etc. The list goes on! I am actually surprising myself on how much I am blogging! But, I think I look forward to sharing! Those of you that like what I write or post, to me, you are kind of  a saviour for me! I don’t have people to share my cake and kids with. My friends don’t really count because I am more of their sounding board. I don’t really voice complaints or concerns, or even my own excitement with opening a shop, or that my youngest can get down the stairs on his own. I am the listener. The non-judgemental person that anyone can say anything to, and they know I will listen. When I vent, it’s to my hubby. I do call a specific friend every once in a while when I really need to hear another opinion, another point of view. She is a couple of hours from me, and we grew up together since we were in diapers. She knows me. She can lift me when I am down, and she can make me think thoughts that never entered my mind before, see things differently! I need her!

I love and appreciate all of my friends, but I can’t seem to release in front of them! I can’t just talk about me, but this blog is a great outlet because it was created for me, about me and my kids and cakes, and anything I want to talk about. I can just talk, vent, explore, share….anything!

For those of you who read Cakes And Kids, I want to thank you, for be my sounding board, and for being interested!

Cake Dreams

1 Oct

I want to share with you some of my favourite cake artists! These are true professionals that do AMAZING cake creations! The amount of time and work that goes into these works of art are just astounding!

One of my favourites of all time is Mike’s Amazing Cakes! You will be absolutely blown away by his creations. You may have seen him on some Challenge shows on the food network. I want to be this good! But, I am sure, when you are this good, the price is that good as well! ha! ha! The most amazing one that I have seen has got to be his dragon! What a cake!

Mike McCarey (Mike's Amazing Cakes) creating Shaggy for a Scooby Doo cake

Aren’t they just incredible? I know there are only 2 pictures here, but wow! I am almost speechless! To be able to talk to this man and get inside his head when he has a cake creation to make! Ah! I have seen him on Challenge before, and he is a detail guy! His characters are on point every time! He really is a perfectionist, which makes him incredible in his field! The structures that he does and has done are ridiculous, and I am sure it takes a lot of inside structure for these cakes! I am gushing…am I gushing? Okay, I will stop, on to the next cake crush of mine!
Another site, I know alot of people have seen already, I have actually received alot of pictures from customers wanting me to recreate this company’s cakes. It’s The Pink Cake Box. These are really fun cakes, so clean looking and even though I love their cakes, to me, they all seem to be the same structure with different themes and colours. Don’t get me wrong, they are beautiful and I aspire to be just as good some day as well!

Anne Heap of Pink Cake Box

There is another cake studio that I love, love, love. Based out of Toronto, these cake masterpieces are stunning! They take about 40-80 hours to complete one cake. So much detail! I have tried to go onto the site, but it is under construction right now.
Alexandria and Jessica are the owners, one is a pastry chef….but that is all I know for sure right now! They have more talent in their little finger, than most of us have in our whole body! Talented for sure!
     
So, here are some of their creations!
To be this good I feel might be in my future, as long as I work hard and get some great help along the way! The right tools help too! I work with a limited supply of tools right now.
But, as long as we have goals in life, we won’t get bored and just take a back seat to life!
There you have it! My cake dreams and aspirations, to be as good as these artists in the future!

Bedtime Blues

1 Oct

My youngest son does not like going to bed, but he doesn’t complain (cry) about it for long before he is out cold and dreaming about playing in toilet water (his new hobby)! This, is fairly simple, to put him to bed, with exception of the guilt because he cries! My oldest, however, is a completely different story! Sometimes I think he has multiple personalities! And he isn’t even a Gemini! Ha! Ha! (That’s for you Steph!) First, he goes completely berserk when his father comes home from work. He will be nice and calm, just out of the tub, comfy pajamas on, eating an apple and watching the Backyardigans, then…..the door opens and there comes Daddy! Well! A switch just goes off in his little body that says ‘ I’m gonna be a pain in the butt!’ He gets loud and doesn’t listen to anyone. He obviously wants attention from his father, and I don’t blame him on that, it’s just the way that he acts to get that attention! And……just watching the words that I write at this moment, I thought that maybe, he is acting this way to get attention…..good or bad! Ah, that makes me very sad! Now, my husband is a great person with alot of heart and (ahem) soul! He is a good father, but I have to say, he lacks greatly in the patience department. So, maybe my son knows that he can really tick off his dad, and that gets him attention. Now, I just have to find a way for him to realize that he can get his dad’s attention without being a hyper-hypo!

So, I got a little off topic! Bed time!  Tonight is the perfect example! Granted, my son is not feeling well, and is very, very tired and feeling ill. So, usually this is how it goes…..”Morley, it’s time for bed now, let’s go brush your teeth.” “No, I don’t want to, later”, “No, now, let’s go!” “AW!” Reluctantly he goes to the bathroom where Gord puts the toothpaste on to Morley’s toothbrush and he comes running out to see me with toothbrush in mouth, ready for me to brush his pearly whites for him(which I don’t mind, because I know that his teeth are clean at least!). Then, he has to rinse out his mouth and go pee before bed. At this time, he kicks Gord out of the bathroom and shuts the door, telling Gord to “get out”. This, Gord hates, and I don’t think that Morley should being saying that or disrespecting his father…..even though he has no idea what respect is right now! So, Gord waits. Morley comes out of the bathroom and takes his stance right in front of the boob tube, just standing. I ask him for a kiss and hug, which he does, many times over to avoid the dreaded bed! This leads to having to go upstairs to bed where Daddy will read him a couple of stories before lights out. This is a pretty good gig for him! Daddy tucks him in and reads him some fables! I would love that treatment! I got that treatment when I was young……just was too young to appreciate it!

Well, he starts crying and fighting. He wants to sleep in our bedroom. Which I absolutley loathe. If he moves to our bed, he rolls and kicks and gets way too close for me to sleep! So, a battle is had! “Upstairs to your room”, “No! I want to sleep in your room”, “No, upstairs”, “Mommy, I want to sleep in your room” (said with the cutest little sad face ever! With tears on his cheeks) “No, Daddy said upstairs, now go to bed”. This can go on for a while! So, depending on how tired he is, and willing to let sleep take him, he will either fight until Gord breaks a gasket, or he will concede and go upstairs! NOW!!! Isn’t that quite the battle, just to get a 3 year old to bed? UGH! Something definitley has to change there! My everlasting mother guilt makes me a sucker, and when I see the sad face and tears, I just crumble! But, I know not to give in (mostly)! By the time Gord comes downstairs from the night’s events, he is broken! I feel bad, because Morley is constantly asking for Mommy to do things for him, instead of Daddy. Tonight, Gord and Morley had a royal battle trying to get pajamas on! Have you ever had to hold your kid with your legs wrapped around them so they won’t slide away? It’s pretty funny when you see it happen! But it’s a bitch to try to get a little soldier dressed when they don’t want to! That is like trying to wrestle a snake! Wriggly and sneaky! Little enough to sneak out at any opening!

By the time bed time comes, I am pretty much done for the day! Gord takes on this time because he works late, and only gets to spend 45 minutes with Morley at night. Sacrifice, disappointment, guilt, anger, love, infatuation, obsession, heart break…..all in one night! Poor Gord! Poor Morley! They love each other, and they are so alike, but so different! So, there is an inside look at my house at Morley’s bedtime! Fun stuff huh? Everyone should try having a 3 year old at least once in their life! Just to appreciate quiet when they are asleep!